Ok, so it's my Birthday. I think this gives me full whining rights or whatever the fuck I want to write about. I really am not as narcissistic as this will come out sounding...it's just Monday and I'm bummed and what not.
First off I'm at work...on my break so I can write this if I please.
Secondly, I have woken up to not one single birthday email in my inbox. That's pretty depressing. Maybe only because for the last few years my birthday has been a big fucking deal. Maybe everyone is sick of me...who knows.
Thirdly..dinner tonight..I won't even go there. Let's just say my plans were cancelled not by me, I know and understand why...but it's still disappointing on your birthday.
Fourthly...this was the first year in like 5 years I have made my own breakfast and eaten it alone on my birthday. That actually truly sucked and was depressing. Also no one offered to take me out for birthday lunch this year. It's generally pretty hard to actually depress me, but maybe because I'm used to people making a big deal about me one day a year I've grown accustomed to it, I'm feeling pretty let done and sad this year.
Lastly...it's 11:20am and none of my family members have called yet. My mom and grand ma are usually quite awesome about this. My so-called dad is generally impressed with himself if he calls within the week and my aunt and uncle will likely have left a message by the end of the day...I don't expect them to have called by now. They never forget :)
So now I will take myself to get a frappuchino, cause it is MY birthday after all. Then I shall grumble and whatever in my office after, catching up on some work while having a pity party!
It's about 20 minutes later and I just wanted to add something, even though my friends don't read this. I know exactly what would help me feel better. If for once someone would throw a bday event for me. In high school my friends would tell me they were going to throw me a surprise party, when my bday rolled around and waved goodbye nothing had happened. That's why the last few years I have always had to make the plans and everything. I just wish for once someone would think to be the one to organize something big and fun for my birthday. Is that really asking a lot?
Monday, June 18, 2007
Monday, May 28, 2007
BIRTHDAY WISHLIST
As my birthday is slowly but quickly approaching, I know it's time to start generating a BIRTHDAY WISHLIST!! Maybe I already have and don't remember?? Who knows.
But, I have one brewing in my head right now, that needs to be shared for those who can't think of something creative on their own.
1. Black housecoat/robe
2. 2-day Tickets to the VIRGIN music festival in Sept
3. Tickets to Wake Stock (Deftones are playing!!!)
4. Canon macro lens that will work with a Canon 30D SLR (even a Sigma is kewl as it is significantly cheaper, not as good quality, but hey, such is life)
5. Canon Powershot SD430 camera (I need something that is light and easy to carry around)
6. Pretty skin
7. Plugs for my ears that screw on and have a star design, gauged either 8 or 6. It has to be a screw on type as others fall out of my stretchy ears.
8. Canon EW-63II Hood (28-105) lens
HRm..that's all I can really think of, unless someone wants to take me on vacation!!
More may be coming...we'll see.
But, I have one brewing in my head right now, that needs to be shared for those who can't think of something creative on their own.
1. Black housecoat/robe
2. 2-day Tickets to the VIRGIN music festival in Sept
3. Tickets to Wake Stock (Deftones are playing!!!)
4. Canon macro lens that will work with a Canon 30D SLR (even a Sigma is kewl as it is significantly cheaper, not as good quality, but hey, such is life)
5. Canon Powershot SD430 camera (I need something that is light and easy to carry around)
6. Pretty skin
7. Plugs for my ears that screw on and have a star design, gauged either 8 or 6. It has to be a screw on type as others fall out of my stretchy ears.
8. Canon EW-63II Hood (28-105) lens
HRm..that's all I can really think of, unless someone wants to take me on vacation!!
More may be coming...we'll see.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
holy moly BATMAN
Well well well, look who it is....
ME!!
Whoot whoot.
So, for all none of you that read this I will recount my actions lately.
All weekend (which was extended) I was at my cottage relaxing and enjoying akdov. It was great to get up north and be out of the city for a little bit. I know it is good for my own mental health, so I don't let my mind out of my head and lose it somewhere.
HRm..what else....
I've decided I shall get back into pseudo-modelling. I say pseudo, only because I will never call myself a model. I love doing photoshoots for photographers, but it's not like I have people lined up around the block wanting to shoot me. Though, it seems I may very possibly be working with a known Toronto photographer for a series/project he is doing which is of great interest to me and think suitable for me to be posing for.
I've also had a couple other photographers ask to work with me doing some shoots and such. I think the only interest in me is that I am rather unique looking and intense. I can look 19 and I can look 30.
On a side note, I have been putting up a couple photos a week on deviant.. http://amberfette.deviantart.com/ so check there often!! Feel free to inquire about buying work too...come on I'm a starving artist!!!
On the work front... I won a garden plot! I entered a contest where I had to write a 100 word essay as to why I wanted a garden plot in downtown Toronto and won one of only 12 plots!! For some reason I knew I would get it. Finally my writing skills won me something...though I do really lack writing skills, but that's why I blog and write for shebytches and stuff. To hopefully have my skills constantly growing and developing. I would love to write and photograph some day as a career. I love my regular job, but it is taxing on my health with my disorder (Narcolepsy). See, this is why I need you all to buy my photos!! (ok, they aren't that great, but I try).
WHeeE.
This weekend I'm going back up north for a wedding reception. I have to supervise those crazy kids under the influence...actually more like photograph them while under the influence!! HEHehe.
Ok, I'm going to go attempt to write a piece for Shebytches.
Be good.
ME!!
Whoot whoot.
So, for all none of you that read this I will recount my actions lately.
All weekend (which was extended) I was at my cottage relaxing and enjoying akdov. It was great to get up north and be out of the city for a little bit. I know it is good for my own mental health, so I don't let my mind out of my head and lose it somewhere.
HRm..what else....
I've decided I shall get back into pseudo-modelling. I say pseudo, only because I will never call myself a model. I love doing photoshoots for photographers, but it's not like I have people lined up around the block wanting to shoot me. Though, it seems I may very possibly be working with a known Toronto photographer for a series/project he is doing which is of great interest to me and think suitable for me to be posing for.
I've also had a couple other photographers ask to work with me doing some shoots and such. I think the only interest in me is that I am rather unique looking and intense. I can look 19 and I can look 30.
On a side note, I have been putting up a couple photos a week on deviant.. http://amberfette.deviantart.com/ so check there often!! Feel free to inquire about buying work too...come on I'm a starving artist!!!
On the work front... I won a garden plot! I entered a contest where I had to write a 100 word essay as to why I wanted a garden plot in downtown Toronto and won one of only 12 plots!! For some reason I knew I would get it. Finally my writing skills won me something...though I do really lack writing skills, but that's why I blog and write for shebytches and stuff. To hopefully have my skills constantly growing and developing. I would love to write and photograph some day as a career. I love my regular job, but it is taxing on my health with my disorder (Narcolepsy). See, this is why I need you all to buy my photos!! (ok, they aren't that great, but I try).
WHeeE.
This weekend I'm going back up north for a wedding reception. I have to supervise those crazy kids under the influence...actually more like photograph them while under the influence!! HEHehe.
Ok, I'm going to go attempt to write a piece for Shebytches.
Be good.
Monday, April 30, 2007
moving mountains
ARgh. What an icky feeling.
The first day you wake up feeling like a Mack truck or something of that caliber ran you over a couple times in your sleep, when you were laying low and had no control of this evil wrong doing.
Ok, so you probably get my drift..I feel kind of like ass or something like that, because I'm coming down with a cold. Working in a hospital and a building with circulating recycled air probably doesn't help the fact either. And those damn germs we are brainwashed to believe will eat us alive if we don't sanitize everything we come into contact with. They didn't eat people 20-30-40 years ago...why would they start now? We make sanitizer, the germs get stronger and probably will learn to eat us!!
So, I'm eating my vitamins and have increased my dosage a bit for the sake of giving my immune system a few extra Oomph's of power. Go team vitamins! I'm currently chowing down 3.5 cups of chopped up fruit..which should also help, but is part of my daily food intake, so who knows.
I got my taxes all mailed off. The government should be giving me some $$$, but not nearly as much as in the past where I was able to pay for a trip one year and laser hair removal another. This year, maybe I can buy...hrm...something that costs significantly less...GRrr. I certainly will not be buying a mountain as David Bowie recently has... I wonder how much that costs?!?!
Yes, I'm very random today..and that is the brilliance of today and I'll use being sick and being at work as my excuse!! I should have called in sick...but whatever. I can mask the symptoms and possibly kill them.... *sends in the invaders* KILL KILL KILL the bad guys in me!!! :P
Ok, I should go do the purchasing I must do for work. Woohoo fun times.
The first day you wake up feeling like a Mack truck or something of that caliber ran you over a couple times in your sleep, when you were laying low and had no control of this evil wrong doing.
Ok, so you probably get my drift..I feel kind of like ass or something like that, because I'm coming down with a cold. Working in a hospital and a building with circulating recycled air probably doesn't help the fact either. And those damn germs we are brainwashed to believe will eat us alive if we don't sanitize everything we come into contact with. They didn't eat people 20-30-40 years ago...why would they start now? We make sanitizer, the germs get stronger and probably will learn to eat us!!
So, I'm eating my vitamins and have increased my dosage a bit for the sake of giving my immune system a few extra Oomph's of power. Go team vitamins! I'm currently chowing down 3.5 cups of chopped up fruit..which should also help, but is part of my daily food intake, so who knows.
I got my taxes all mailed off. The government should be giving me some $$$, but not nearly as much as in the past where I was able to pay for a trip one year and laser hair removal another. This year, maybe I can buy...hrm...something that costs significantly less...GRrr. I certainly will not be buying a mountain as David Bowie recently has... I wonder how much that costs?!?!
Yes, I'm very random today..and that is the brilliance of today and I'll use being sick and being at work as my excuse!! I should have called in sick...but whatever. I can mask the symptoms and possibly kill them.... *sends in the invaders* KILL KILL KILL the bad guys in me!!! :P
Ok, I should go do the purchasing I must do for work. Woohoo fun times.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Lack of Motivation
Blah blah blah blah blah.
Yup. That's my current mood.
I dislike this mood greatly and would like it to leave.
No motivation what so ever.
Maybe I need some espresso!
Maybe not.
Maybe I need a 6 hour hug?!?!
Maybe I need to...ummm no idea.
Why the heck does it take me over 2 hours to eat my lunch? My lunch would take the average person about 10 mins to eat...goodness.
I don't feel like writing anything of any intelligence today. You'll have to excuse me.
Yup. That's my current mood.
I dislike this mood greatly and would like it to leave.
No motivation what so ever.
Maybe I need some espresso!
Maybe not.
Maybe I need a 6 hour hug?!?!
Maybe I need to...ummm no idea.
Why the heck does it take me over 2 hours to eat my lunch? My lunch would take the average person about 10 mins to eat...goodness.
I don't feel like writing anything of any intelligence today. You'll have to excuse me.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
cookie love
Oh Goodness. I am officially addicted to cookies. It all started with Second Cup having some super yummy gingerbread ones dipped in milk chocolate in winter..MmmMmMmmm. Then they had gingerbread people half dipped in chocolate...good, but not quite as much.
Now, I eat at Subway every other week and they have incredible cookies..so those are always nice. At work, there always seems to be cookies (I'm not talking about prepackaged crap cookies either...I like fresh baked ones). AND...I seem to make a couple cookies each day (not by the batch as I don't enjoy them if they aren't fresh) getting creative with them.
CCOOOOKKIIEESS!!!!!!! AhHHhh sooo good.
Ok, this is probably my lamest and weirdest post EVER.
I bet GIR would totally get it.
Now, I eat at Subway every other week and they have incredible cookies..so those are always nice. At work, there always seems to be cookies (I'm not talking about prepackaged crap cookies either...I like fresh baked ones). AND...I seem to make a couple cookies each day (not by the batch as I don't enjoy them if they aren't fresh) getting creative with them.
CCOOOOKKIIEESS!!!!!!! AhHHhh sooo good.
Ok, this is probably my lamest and weirdest post EVER.
I bet GIR would totally get it.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Friends with exs not benefits
Sometimes I feel I am completely misunderstood by the majority of the world. I know a lot of people say this and claim this, etc. It's just that I am an extremely free spirited person. I don't have the same morals, ideas and such as society has formed. With the nonsense society has formed, it has created a lot of tension for me vs everyone.
In my world, I'm friends for the most part, with my exs. They are not my exs anymore, they are my friends. They are friendships that can only be friendships and nothing more and we figured that out through trial and error of dating. No hard feelings. Why don't people understand this? Is it that hard of a concept to wrap your head around?
I understand for some people it is extremely difficult to just be friends with an ex sometimes, because there are such intense feelings and it does suck that the other doesn't feel that way anymore. But, why lose the underlying friendship that was developed. Of course there are some people you just can't stay friends with after a relationship and that's life. Just like sometimes you have friends that you can't stay friends with. And, there are people in general you can't be friends with either. That's life.
But, to those who do not believe people who've been in a relationship can remain only friends with an ex, that is unfortunate. You could be missing out on some great opportunities of friendships. Now it is completely up to you if that is how you choose to feel about the topic. But, please do not judge other people and their abilities to remain friends with people they've dated in the past. Other people do not have the same views and abilities to remain friends as you do. So please don't be close minded or critical of those with the ability. Don't try to trap their free spirited nature or open mindedness on this issue.
Ok time to eat my lunch.
In my world, I'm friends for the most part, with my exs. They are not my exs anymore, they are my friends. They are friendships that can only be friendships and nothing more and we figured that out through trial and error of dating. No hard feelings. Why don't people understand this? Is it that hard of a concept to wrap your head around?
I understand for some people it is extremely difficult to just be friends with an ex sometimes, because there are such intense feelings and it does suck that the other doesn't feel that way anymore. But, why lose the underlying friendship that was developed. Of course there are some people you just can't stay friends with after a relationship and that's life. Just like sometimes you have friends that you can't stay friends with. And, there are people in general you can't be friends with either. That's life.
But, to those who do not believe people who've been in a relationship can remain only friends with an ex, that is unfortunate. You could be missing out on some great opportunities of friendships. Now it is completely up to you if that is how you choose to feel about the topic. But, please do not judge other people and their abilities to remain friends with people they've dated in the past. Other people do not have the same views and abilities to remain friends as you do. So please don't be close minded or critical of those with the ability. Don't try to trap their free spirited nature or open mindedness on this issue.
Ok time to eat my lunch.
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