I'm sitting in my office gazing out my huge window. I'm on the top floor (only 5 stories) and all I want to do is fly out that window and wake up somewhere new. I don't mean waking up in some hospital packaged up in plaster with respirators pumping oxygen in me. I am referring to waking up somewhere brand new. Starting again from scratch.
If my job wasn't so awesome I likely would have done this years ago. Now, I should say. I truly love my friends and family and all that is here, but I'm sure they would all be happy for me where ever I went as long as I was happy.
Though maybe because a lot has been going on behind the scenes in my life that is why I'm having my yearly random urge to leave. Maybe it just means a new chapter in my life is starting again. I guess time will tell and we'll see where it goes.
The weekend was decent. Saw lots of friends, wiggled my bum, had alone time and had not even close to enough sleep. Now, I'm tryingto figure out how to sketch a wave...argh!
Off I go.
Monday, July 9, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
up to the date
Let's see....
What can I inform you all about.
Well my birthday was...well it was my birthday. Yup. Not too exciting. Though I did get to go to The KEG Mansion finally!!! Yay! Amazing environment to eat in. I want to move in!!
My mom still hasn't called, which sucks.
On Tuesday I did get my first cake in about 17 years!! That was pretty exciting. Yes, that's how sad my life is. That I get excited when I get a cake for my birthday. I have gotten shared ones in the past between my uncle and me, but they are always cheesecake, because he loves cheesecake and I dislike it a lot. EWwW, I sound like a silly 12 year old ugh.
I have a bday lunch in a couple mins, then another one tomorrow!! WHeeEee. Good times.
Tonight I shall be EYES for my grand ma at the Mandarin. EWWw, but grand ma likes it so I'll be a good grand daughter and eat that crap, hopefully they have some sushi or something I can not get overly grossed out by.
Oh, it's lunch time.
What can I inform you all about.
Well my birthday was...well it was my birthday. Yup. Not too exciting. Though I did get to go to The KEG Mansion finally!!! Yay! Amazing environment to eat in. I want to move in!!
My mom still hasn't called, which sucks.
On Tuesday I did get my first cake in about 17 years!! That was pretty exciting. Yes, that's how sad my life is. That I get excited when I get a cake for my birthday. I have gotten shared ones in the past between my uncle and me, but they are always cheesecake, because he loves cheesecake and I dislike it a lot. EWwW, I sound like a silly 12 year old ugh.
I have a bday lunch in a couple mins, then another one tomorrow!! WHeeEee. Good times.
Tonight I shall be EYES for my grand ma at the Mandarin. EWWw, but grand ma likes it so I'll be a good grand daughter and eat that crap, hopefully they have some sushi or something I can not get overly grossed out by.
Oh, it's lunch time.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Birthday Pity PArty
Ok, so it's my Birthday. I think this gives me full whining rights or whatever the fuck I want to write about. I really am not as narcissistic as this will come out sounding...it's just Monday and I'm bummed and what not.
First off I'm at work...on my break so I can write this if I please.
Secondly, I have woken up to not one single birthday email in my inbox. That's pretty depressing. Maybe only because for the last few years my birthday has been a big fucking deal. Maybe everyone is sick of me...who knows.
Thirdly..dinner tonight..I won't even go there. Let's just say my plans were cancelled not by me, I know and understand why...but it's still disappointing on your birthday.
Fourthly...this was the first year in like 5 years I have made my own breakfast and eaten it alone on my birthday. That actually truly sucked and was depressing. Also no one offered to take me out for birthday lunch this year. It's generally pretty hard to actually depress me, but maybe because I'm used to people making a big deal about me one day a year I've grown accustomed to it, I'm feeling pretty let done and sad this year.
Lastly...it's 11:20am and none of my family members have called yet. My mom and grand ma are usually quite awesome about this. My so-called dad is generally impressed with himself if he calls within the week and my aunt and uncle will likely have left a message by the end of the day...I don't expect them to have called by now. They never forget :)
So now I will take myself to get a frappuchino, cause it is MY birthday after all. Then I shall grumble and whatever in my office after, catching up on some work while having a pity party!
It's about 20 minutes later and I just wanted to add something, even though my friends don't read this. I know exactly what would help me feel better. If for once someone would throw a bday event for me. In high school my friends would tell me they were going to throw me a surprise party, when my bday rolled around and waved goodbye nothing had happened. That's why the last few years I have always had to make the plans and everything. I just wish for once someone would think to be the one to organize something big and fun for my birthday. Is that really asking a lot?
First off I'm at work...on my break so I can write this if I please.
Secondly, I have woken up to not one single birthday email in my inbox. That's pretty depressing. Maybe only because for the last few years my birthday has been a big fucking deal. Maybe everyone is sick of me...who knows.
Thirdly..dinner tonight..I won't even go there. Let's just say my plans were cancelled not by me, I know and understand why...but it's still disappointing on your birthday.
Fourthly...this was the first year in like 5 years I have made my own breakfast and eaten it alone on my birthday. That actually truly sucked and was depressing. Also no one offered to take me out for birthday lunch this year. It's generally pretty hard to actually depress me, but maybe because I'm used to people making a big deal about me one day a year I've grown accustomed to it, I'm feeling pretty let done and sad this year.
Lastly...it's 11:20am and none of my family members have called yet. My mom and grand ma are usually quite awesome about this. My so-called dad is generally impressed with himself if he calls within the week and my aunt and uncle will likely have left a message by the end of the day...I don't expect them to have called by now. They never forget :)
So now I will take myself to get a frappuchino, cause it is MY birthday after all. Then I shall grumble and whatever in my office after, catching up on some work while having a pity party!
It's about 20 minutes later and I just wanted to add something, even though my friends don't read this. I know exactly what would help me feel better. If for once someone would throw a bday event for me. In high school my friends would tell me they were going to throw me a surprise party, when my bday rolled around and waved goodbye nothing had happened. That's why the last few years I have always had to make the plans and everything. I just wish for once someone would think to be the one to organize something big and fun for my birthday. Is that really asking a lot?
Monday, May 28, 2007
BIRTHDAY WISHLIST
As my birthday is slowly but quickly approaching, I know it's time to start generating a BIRTHDAY WISHLIST!! Maybe I already have and don't remember?? Who knows.
But, I have one brewing in my head right now, that needs to be shared for those who can't think of something creative on their own.
1. Black housecoat/robe
2. 2-day Tickets to the VIRGIN music festival in Sept
3. Tickets to Wake Stock (Deftones are playing!!!)
4. Canon macro lens that will work with a Canon 30D SLR (even a Sigma is kewl as it is significantly cheaper, not as good quality, but hey, such is life)
5. Canon Powershot SD430 camera (I need something that is light and easy to carry around)
6. Pretty skin
7. Plugs for my ears that screw on and have a star design, gauged either 8 or 6. It has to be a screw on type as others fall out of my stretchy ears.
8. Canon EW-63II Hood (28-105) lens
HRm..that's all I can really think of, unless someone wants to take me on vacation!!
More may be coming...we'll see.
But, I have one brewing in my head right now, that needs to be shared for those who can't think of something creative on their own.
1. Black housecoat/robe
2. 2-day Tickets to the VIRGIN music festival in Sept
3. Tickets to Wake Stock (Deftones are playing!!!)
4. Canon macro lens that will work with a Canon 30D SLR (even a Sigma is kewl as it is significantly cheaper, not as good quality, but hey, such is life)
5. Canon Powershot SD430 camera (I need something that is light and easy to carry around)
6. Pretty skin
7. Plugs for my ears that screw on and have a star design, gauged either 8 or 6. It has to be a screw on type as others fall out of my stretchy ears.
8. Canon EW-63II Hood (28-105) lens
HRm..that's all I can really think of, unless someone wants to take me on vacation!!
More may be coming...we'll see.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
holy moly BATMAN
Well well well, look who it is....
ME!!
Whoot whoot.
So, for all none of you that read this I will recount my actions lately.
All weekend (which was extended) I was at my cottage relaxing and enjoying akdov. It was great to get up north and be out of the city for a little bit. I know it is good for my own mental health, so I don't let my mind out of my head and lose it somewhere.
HRm..what else....
I've decided I shall get back into pseudo-modelling. I say pseudo, only because I will never call myself a model. I love doing photoshoots for photographers, but it's not like I have people lined up around the block wanting to shoot me. Though, it seems I may very possibly be working with a known Toronto photographer for a series/project he is doing which is of great interest to me and think suitable for me to be posing for.
I've also had a couple other photographers ask to work with me doing some shoots and such. I think the only interest in me is that I am rather unique looking and intense. I can look 19 and I can look 30.
On a side note, I have been putting up a couple photos a week on deviant.. http://amberfette.deviantart.com/ so check there often!! Feel free to inquire about buying work too...come on I'm a starving artist!!!
On the work front... I won a garden plot! I entered a contest where I had to write a 100 word essay as to why I wanted a garden plot in downtown Toronto and won one of only 12 plots!! For some reason I knew I would get it. Finally my writing skills won me something...though I do really lack writing skills, but that's why I blog and write for shebytches and stuff. To hopefully have my skills constantly growing and developing. I would love to write and photograph some day as a career. I love my regular job, but it is taxing on my health with my disorder (Narcolepsy). See, this is why I need you all to buy my photos!! (ok, they aren't that great, but I try).
WHeeE.
This weekend I'm going back up north for a wedding reception. I have to supervise those crazy kids under the influence...actually more like photograph them while under the influence!! HEHehe.
Ok, I'm going to go attempt to write a piece for Shebytches.
Be good.
ME!!
Whoot whoot.
So, for all none of you that read this I will recount my actions lately.
All weekend (which was extended) I was at my cottage relaxing and enjoying akdov. It was great to get up north and be out of the city for a little bit. I know it is good for my own mental health, so I don't let my mind out of my head and lose it somewhere.
HRm..what else....
I've decided I shall get back into pseudo-modelling. I say pseudo, only because I will never call myself a model. I love doing photoshoots for photographers, but it's not like I have people lined up around the block wanting to shoot me. Though, it seems I may very possibly be working with a known Toronto photographer for a series/project he is doing which is of great interest to me and think suitable for me to be posing for.
I've also had a couple other photographers ask to work with me doing some shoots and such. I think the only interest in me is that I am rather unique looking and intense. I can look 19 and I can look 30.
On a side note, I have been putting up a couple photos a week on deviant.. http://amberfette.deviantart.com/ so check there often!! Feel free to inquire about buying work too...come on I'm a starving artist!!!
On the work front... I won a garden plot! I entered a contest where I had to write a 100 word essay as to why I wanted a garden plot in downtown Toronto and won one of only 12 plots!! For some reason I knew I would get it. Finally my writing skills won me something...though I do really lack writing skills, but that's why I blog and write for shebytches and stuff. To hopefully have my skills constantly growing and developing. I would love to write and photograph some day as a career. I love my regular job, but it is taxing on my health with my disorder (Narcolepsy). See, this is why I need you all to buy my photos!! (ok, they aren't that great, but I try).
WHeeE.
This weekend I'm going back up north for a wedding reception. I have to supervise those crazy kids under the influence...actually more like photograph them while under the influence!! HEHehe.
Ok, I'm going to go attempt to write a piece for Shebytches.
Be good.
Monday, April 30, 2007
moving mountains
ARgh. What an icky feeling.
The first day you wake up feeling like a Mack truck or something of that caliber ran you over a couple times in your sleep, when you were laying low and had no control of this evil wrong doing.
Ok, so you probably get my drift..I feel kind of like ass or something like that, because I'm coming down with a cold. Working in a hospital and a building with circulating recycled air probably doesn't help the fact either. And those damn germs we are brainwashed to believe will eat us alive if we don't sanitize everything we come into contact with. They didn't eat people 20-30-40 years ago...why would they start now? We make sanitizer, the germs get stronger and probably will learn to eat us!!
So, I'm eating my vitamins and have increased my dosage a bit for the sake of giving my immune system a few extra Oomph's of power. Go team vitamins! I'm currently chowing down 3.5 cups of chopped up fruit..which should also help, but is part of my daily food intake, so who knows.
I got my taxes all mailed off. The government should be giving me some $$$, but not nearly as much as in the past where I was able to pay for a trip one year and laser hair removal another. This year, maybe I can buy...hrm...something that costs significantly less...GRrr. I certainly will not be buying a mountain as David Bowie recently has... I wonder how much that costs?!?!
Yes, I'm very random today..and that is the brilliance of today and I'll use being sick and being at work as my excuse!! I should have called in sick...but whatever. I can mask the symptoms and possibly kill them.... *sends in the invaders* KILL KILL KILL the bad guys in me!!! :P
Ok, I should go do the purchasing I must do for work. Woohoo fun times.
The first day you wake up feeling like a Mack truck or something of that caliber ran you over a couple times in your sleep, when you were laying low and had no control of this evil wrong doing.
Ok, so you probably get my drift..I feel kind of like ass or something like that, because I'm coming down with a cold. Working in a hospital and a building with circulating recycled air probably doesn't help the fact either. And those damn germs we are brainwashed to believe will eat us alive if we don't sanitize everything we come into contact with. They didn't eat people 20-30-40 years ago...why would they start now? We make sanitizer, the germs get stronger and probably will learn to eat us!!
So, I'm eating my vitamins and have increased my dosage a bit for the sake of giving my immune system a few extra Oomph's of power. Go team vitamins! I'm currently chowing down 3.5 cups of chopped up fruit..which should also help, but is part of my daily food intake, so who knows.
I got my taxes all mailed off. The government should be giving me some $$$, but not nearly as much as in the past where I was able to pay for a trip one year and laser hair removal another. This year, maybe I can buy...hrm...something that costs significantly less...GRrr. I certainly will not be buying a mountain as David Bowie recently has... I wonder how much that costs?!?!
Yes, I'm very random today..and that is the brilliance of today and I'll use being sick and being at work as my excuse!! I should have called in sick...but whatever. I can mask the symptoms and possibly kill them.... *sends in the invaders* KILL KILL KILL the bad guys in me!!! :P
Ok, I should go do the purchasing I must do for work. Woohoo fun times.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Lack of Motivation
Blah blah blah blah blah.
Yup. That's my current mood.
I dislike this mood greatly and would like it to leave.
No motivation what so ever.
Maybe I need some espresso!
Maybe not.
Maybe I need a 6 hour hug?!?!
Maybe I need to...ummm no idea.
Why the heck does it take me over 2 hours to eat my lunch? My lunch would take the average person about 10 mins to eat...goodness.
I don't feel like writing anything of any intelligence today. You'll have to excuse me.
Yup. That's my current mood.
I dislike this mood greatly and would like it to leave.
No motivation what so ever.
Maybe I need some espresso!
Maybe not.
Maybe I need a 6 hour hug?!?!
Maybe I need to...ummm no idea.
Why the heck does it take me over 2 hours to eat my lunch? My lunch would take the average person about 10 mins to eat...goodness.
I don't feel like writing anything of any intelligence today. You'll have to excuse me.
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